Why ‘Crew’ When You Can Star In Your Own Event???

Early this morning I got one of those circular emails from a major personal/ professional development company running events which pack thousands in a room, whoop ‘em up and rope ‘em up into buying loadsa products and becoming members (at a price) of this select band of people. And the circular was advertising for ‘crew’, people to assist in delivering the programme and by so doing re-experience it for free or low cost.

Now, I’m not saying some people can’t get life-changing experiences at these events or re-charge motivational batteries. They can… and that’s a whole other topic.

What struck me when I read this morning’s email was why ‘crew’ when you could be the star? And I laughed at my grandiosity assuming that everyone would want to be a ‘star’ and that in itself is a ‘good thing’!

However, women are very good at being crew, of supporting others, helping others to be achieve what they want. And I wondered how many of us are so busy crewing for other people that we don’t even consider the possibility of being the star in our own main event… our life!

How come we do that??? What do we get out of it??? And what do we think of women who do ‘star’ in their own lives??? Leave your answers and comments and guess what? You’ll create the possibility of starring yourself in my new book currently gestating superbly.

Love to you…



6 Responses to “Why ‘Crew’ When You Can Star In Your Own Event???”

  1. Eileen Says:

    After almost 50 years crewing for other people (I started very young!) I only just recently found the courage to step into my own spotlight.
    It was a gradual process and not always an easy one, because the sticky fingers of Guilt tried their best to keep me in the background.
    ‘Who are they’ Guilt whispered ‘to want to have a life separate from your children, your husband, your siblings, your responsibilities, your committments….?’
    Thankfully, the voice of self-love was louder and coaxed me forward.
    My first starring role took the form of the realisation of a childhood dream. I left my home and my family for 10 days and worked as a cowboy on a ranch in Colorado!
    The experience of being totally me changed me. It felt as if my pre-Colorado life was like a pair of tight shoes. Once I took them off, it impossible to get back into them.
    While I wasaway my family changed too and learned to be self-sufficent and independent so – luckily for me – they didn’t want the old version back either!
    What happens now?
    I’ve no idea – but wherever life takes me, from here on, I am the Star in my life!

  2. Mary Lunnen Says:

    Hi Sharon

    Your email really hit a spot for me this morning (thank you!). I am currently severely exhausted, not just a bit tired, but absolutely bone-achingly shattered. Reflecting on why this is I realise that recently (particularly over the last few weeks, but also as a pattern over a long timespan) – I have been giving away all my energy to other people.

    Even though, as a life coach and business trainer, ‘what I do’ is helping others achieve what they want. Even though I could say I have been doing a bit of being a star in my own life – publishing a book, running my own workshops etc – I am also doing a lot of things that drain me. Or maybe it is the way I do them that is draining? Is there a way I can still help without taking on the burden and (it feels like literally) carrying them and bearing the weight.

    Food for thought there! I have many role models and inspirational people I read about who I would describe as starring in their own lives. The interesting thing is that when I have spoken to some of them, they too feel overburdened at times.

    I’ll look forward to reading other people’s thoughts – and your book when it comes out.


  3. Chrissy Aldwinckle Says:

    I am the star in my life! I also see myself as the ‘crew’ in others lives too, in particular the lives of my two daughters. I work with parents and young people and see myself as the crew in their lives too, guiding and supporting them through whatever challenges life throws at them, but also encouraging them to be the star in their own lives too!

  4. Michael Winslow Says:


    I completely agree with your thoughts and have experienced the thrill of being a member of the crew and seeing loads of people walk away as if there are transformed – it’s always good to know and feel that you have helped to make a difference to someone’s life. However, I think that we probably often attend these events with the wrong mindset – we may be looking for something for ourselves or perhaps by watching others we may think that we could generate the same sense of self discovery. If we take on your idea that we are all stars and shake of the shackles that may sometimes prevent us from being and seeing how truly great we too can be, then we should be able to put on our own ‘show’ and be in the limelight as well.

    Why don’t we put on an event together??

    Michael Winslow

  5. Karen Knott Says:

    Oh Sharon, your words struck a real chord with me both personally, (where it struck more of a resounding DOONNGGG than a chord!) and in my work with midlife women, who are often looking to move out of their ‘crew’ role, take up the helm and chart their own course.
    I find it interesting (or do I mean depressing?) that the baby boom generation is still grappling with this. You asked how come we don’t even consider the possibility of being the star in our own main event. Well, from my perspective, the ‘crew’ role actually brought (and always will to a certain extent) such unique and precious elements into my life that I always felt I WAS at the heart of my’ main event’.
    I think what IS fascinating is what happens if and when the crew role no longer provides our essential precious elements and the truly inspiring ways in which women follow their star in the quest to find them elsewhere.

  6. Kate Burton Says:

    Hi Sharon

    I too felt compelled to respond as I feel there are more and more requests placed on me (and my clients) to ‘crew’ for others. In the past, I’d have said yes to many more requests and now I realise that’s just crazy. As crew we can gain a lot – learning, recognition, being part of a team, having fun. Yet as some of the previous comments have said it can also leave us drained and exhausted. And that’s true of us coaches as well as joe public.

    My take on this is that there will be times when we choose to ‘crew’ for others, and when doing that we need to be generous to ourselves as well as those we serve. The question I now ask is whether the crewing is a wise investment of time and energy – am I being nurtured, growing and learning, am I increasing my personal power as a result. Conversely, am I allowing others to drain me and leave me depleted?

    You asked what we think about women who are starring in their own movies, and for myself I can own up to feeling envy and admiration when others seem to have cracked it and I haven’t. (Others think I have it all sorted!) Then I remind myself that the movie role needs to be a good fit for my talents and who I am. We all star in different ways. And sometimes what appears to be a starring role that someone else has also comes with its share of challenges behind the scenes that the audience doesn’t see.

    Your posting also reminded me of the opening lines of a song called
    “Come into the Light” sung by Lucinda Drayton of Bliss. It begins:

    “Where do I go with all these feelings and all of these faces and open
    doors, when everyone else seems so serene and I just feel so insecure
    and where do I go when all the pieces of my heart lay on the floor? You say:

    Come into the light why don’t you? Come into the light why don’t you?
    Come on now, come into the light.”

    Thanks for posing the question, Sharon.
    with love

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