Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Visit Me at My New Blog

February 26, 2009

We’ve moved on.

Delighted to announce from February 09 we’ve moved on. So to get the latest news, tips and techniques…

JUST CLICK ON www.sharoneden.biz

Snowed Under!

February 9, 2009

Ever had that feeling? Well, that’s how it’s been in the UK the past week or so and that’s how I realise I’ve been the last few months. Lots of exciting new projects and exciting things to do and I got so carried away with the ‘exciting’ that I forgot there were only so many things I could do in the one 24 hours. Super Woman rode again!

How easy it can be to slip back into my default patterns when I take my eyes off the ball. Only saving grace is that I recognise what I’m doing these days at the first few signs of falling back into a hole rather than when I’m in there at the bottom of a pit without a ladder!

And once I recognise the signs, I take action. Luckily, I’d already booked earlier this year for some chilling and time out days at Woodbrooke, a comfortable en-suite, great food, welcoming peaceful atmosphere Quaker conference and training centre with wonderful grounds, Chinese Garden and lake… http://www.woodbrooke.org.uk It was even more magical cloaked in a deep layer of snow.

My walking boots left hefty imprints beside those of birds and small mammals. The air was crisp in my nose and my exhalation left moisture in the air that disappeared into the whited out, muted landscape. Just me and it as the snow crunched with a pleasurable softness beneath my feet. Rest and re-connection time with my self, purpose, passion and power.

So what default pattern catches you out, how do you get snowed under? And how do you get yourself out of that particular hole?

PS And if you subscribe to the Women of Courage Ezine leave your answers and you could be the winner one of my unique 30 Minutes PinPoint Coaching(TM).  Offer last until 17th February.  To subscribe visit Women of Courage And leave your comments now!

Forget To Remember?

January 10, 2009

There’s a saboteur in my life! He looks like a mixture of Guy Fawkes and Zorro with a touch of Victorian English father of the ‘don’t darken my doorstep again’ flavour. And he interferes mostly with me expressing myself in the world, being visible, being audible.

This morning, right in the middle of my 20 minutes’ ‘sitting’ meditation, I got a massive insight as to how he does that and for what purpose. All great information for changing the dynamic. And I carried on with my sitting meditation because the learning was so huge I just knew I would remember.

Guess what? Yup… I forgot!

And when I told my writing buddy Phyllis in our co-coaching session this morning she just cracked up. Then I cracked up and we spent joyful moments laughing and laughing and laughing over the Skype airways.

Isn’t that just like life sometimes? You get this earth shattering insight, or earth shattering idea, thinking this is where I crack it all… and then you go and forget!

I suggested to Phyllis that the moral was to write the thing down. “No, no…,” she said, “the moral is to remember it so you can write it down!”  And we fell about laughing, delighting in getting sillier and sillier.

What have you forgotten? And what do you need to write down so that you can re-member?

November 2, 2008

And now for something completely different…

Alive!

November 2, 2008

9.40 pm, peering out of a totally black window flashed with lightenings and whizzy bangs of belated Halloween or Divali rompings on a cold October London night. Their flashes reminiscent of World War news reel bombs cascading in the blitz… sudden and piercingly sharp.

Explosions setting light to houses, sheds, unrepentant trees, urban foxes and the gnarled-ness of fences. For just a fraction of a second – only to surrender them to the darkness like a forbidden moment.

And here I am reflected in my mirror window, the orb of my halogen desk lamp a surrogate sun competing with sudden bright cracks. Yet more rockets exploding silencing normal night noises.

How bizarre that a moment ago I was lost in the warm earthiness of Kenya. Enveloped in my writing buddy’s flowing blogs of life 3 days-in.  Making, re-making contacts and projects on her micro-finance journey.

Touched by the courageous women woven in Phyllis’s tapestry. Touched by the sights, smells and sounds of her-their lives in their richness and poverty. Way, way across the world come alive through her body, her feelings, her thoughts and her sensitivity’s eyes.

Feeling totally unashamedly vital, sensuously keen and ribboning. Presence-ing myself in the velvet mirror blackboard, here and there, the creative chaotic impulse within and outside.

 

Every time I close the door on reality, it comes in through the windows

July 8, 2008

Jennifer Yane’s quotation reminded me that when the Universe has got a lesson to teach you it comes knocking on your door and, if you ignore it, the Universe comes back a while later and knocks even harder. If you still ignore it, the Universe comes back later and this time knocks and kicks at your door. And, if you still ignore the Universe and the lesson it has to teach you, it’ll come back even later. Only this time it’ll kick your ****** door down.

How sensible then to have open windows!

Because the lesson we need to learn often comes through reality flying in through them and hitting us right in the face. Not that we didn’t previously know about it at some level. We just didn’t let it be conscious, be real.

The relationship that you suddenly recognise is damaging, the job that’s draining your soul, the piece you recognise about yourself and your behaviour, the chaos that you’re creating through lack of care, the fear that’s holding you back from recognition or indeed how blessed you are with what you have in your life. A myriad of realities throughout our lives ready to help us stretch ourselves and grow.

A myriad which we often keep the door closed and shut on just in case we have to do something. Oh no! Not the ‘action’ thing? Yes, that action thing. That thing called being response-able, able to respond to and act upon what’s calling us to change.

Often such times evoke our greatest fears about lack of security, losing love, rejection and the possibility of abandonment. But, hey, when your re-action (hyphenated on purpose) is the strongest, it’s a clue as to how much of your potential that lesson, that bit of reality, is offering you as its prize.

In recent times, reality flew in my windows at gale wind speed… never one to do things by halves… and it was about being called to shed some old and redundant beliefs and behaviours that I’d covered up with bravado. To get more real in its truest sense!

To be more authentically me and more vulnerable… and paradoxically more safe only it didn’t feel like it at the time… through shedding some brittleness and some shoutiness that had attempted to defend me against hurt. Not that it had worked particularly well… does it ever?!

Well I kicked and screamed and fought to begin with. And although I’m through that bit now I’m still a work in process. Shedding the old, not quite sure what the new is like and making it up as I go along with a bit of inner and bigger guidance. And I’m still here; no loss of security or love, no rejection or abandonment. At least, if I have been rejected or abandoned, I certainly don’t feel it.

So… what’s the reality that came in through your windows? What lessons did it teach you? And how did you change and grow out of it?

Do let me know and take the possibility of helping others face their realities through your named experience being featured in my upcoming book. Comment as gloriously as you wish below….

Love to you…

© Sharon Eden 2008 All Rights Reserved

Why ‘Crew’ When You Can Star In Your Own Event???

June 20, 2008

Early this morning I got one of those circular emails from a major personal/ professional development company running events which pack thousands in a room, whoop ‘em up and rope ‘em up into buying loadsa products and becoming members (at a price) of this select band of people. And the circular was advertising for ‘crew’, people to assist in delivering the programme and by so doing re-experience it for free or low cost.

Now, I’m not saying some people can’t get life-changing experiences at these events or re-charge motivational batteries. They can… and that’s a whole other topic.

What struck me when I read this morning’s email was why ‘crew’ when you could be the star? And I laughed at my grandiosity assuming that everyone would want to be a ‘star’ and that in itself is a ‘good thing’!

However, women are very good at being crew, of supporting others, helping others to be achieve what they want. And I wondered how many of us are so busy crewing for other people that we don’t even consider the possibility of being the star in our own main event… our life!

How come we do that??? What do we get out of it??? And what do we think of women who do ‘star’ in their own lives??? Leave your answers and comments and guess what? You’ll create the possibility of starring yourself in my new book currently gestating superbly.

Love to you…

Sharon

Being ‘Too Much’ Again!

May 21, 2008

This is going to come out like scrambled egg mainly because that’s how I’ve felt… I’ve been ‘scrambled’. And it’s all about going through a transition and finding my voice, a new way of expressing myself in the world

I thought it was about being ‘ballsy with softness’. But, hey, the major events of my recent life have been confrontation big time. Confrontation can, of course, be a very healthy thing enabling discussion and resolution of issues between different parties. These confrontations were not that kind!

One I didn’t ask for and came to me because of misunderstandings between myself and someone who was working for me at the time. The other one I chose. Yeah, I could hardly believe what I’d done afterward…I chose to pick a fight (totally new behaviour for me) and loved every minute of it.

It was about an injustice that I saw and confronted. And the way that I did that could not be described in any other way than inflammatory. It involved me being shouted at and shouting at the top of my voice in the street… hey, not very British! Afterward I was pleased that I kept my language clean… AND I behaved like a fish-wife. Deeeelicious!

Notice my judgements… and my pleasure! The sheer freedom of expressing without care for what anybody else thought of me.

And I hold my hands up to the judgements. Recently I’ve had a couple of messages that I’m being too much again. One was about my writing… that I drew someone in and then pushed them away through being ‘ballsy’. And I took notice of them and ‘tried’ to be different.

Have you ever done that? Respected some-one and taken their opinion over your own knowing? Well, here I was again taking on some-one else’s experience of me being ‘too much’ and dumbing myself down to meet their standards, their expectations about what’s right or wrong.

Enough!

My spin on things is that the confrontations I’ve recently experienced have showed me that I’m more solid than ever. That I can stand up even publicly and make a spectacle of myself when one of my core values is being rubbished and I choose t o do something about it.

As my writing buddy Phyllis so aptly termed it… maybe I’m learning to be a ‘bitch with grit’!

So… if you’re biting your tongue or if you’re being told you’re too much… let rip! Yeah, you might be doing an Emperor’s New Clothes job and that’s no bad thing. Yeah, you might be too much for that person AND there are literally millions of people on this planet for whom you are just absolutely right… including your Self!

Living In Your Body

April 27, 2008

Want to tell you about a one day course I attended on 25th April at Roffey Park http://www.roffeypark.com/index.php on Embodied Leadership http://www.strozziinstitute.com/. However, I’m so full of it… it was such a rich experience for me… that I’m pretty wordless and continuing to process what I learned and the exponential difference it made to my sense of self, my confidence, my passion and power.

Yeah that big!

A constant theme in my coaching and training is to use more of our intelligence than cognitive alone… and we’ve got loads of it. Sensory, emotional, spiritual, intuitive, telepathic, physical intelligences and maybe many more.

Yet until this course I’d not appreciated the profoundness of using our physical intelligence (muscular, organic and cellular). I’ve never before fully appreciated how our history defines our body ‘shape’ nor how using our physicality provides such deep information on our behaviour patterns, how I react to situations (like a ‘grab’ when somebody criticises, attacks or I’m under stress because of some situation) AND is a means of actively and swiftly resolving issues and changing behaviour.

Now, I know I’m not writing specifics because there’s just so much this blog would be a novel! And here’s an example.

Last night at a very special birthday bash for me in a Turkish restaurant I danced with the belly dancer easily and elegantly, enjoying the pleasure of us making a dance between us, both our presences, the music and movement.

Err… yes?

The difference was and is in my confidence and centred-ness within myself. In my 20s/30s I might well do that as an act of bravado, mock confidence… look at me, I don’t give a sh..! Later, I realised what I was doing with that behaviour and stopped. I was just over-compensating for and hiding my lack of confidence and ease with myself through the bravado… and chose not to act out like that any more. Even later the deeper issue emerged which was about me hiding my magnificence, my ‘shining’ which had arisen from early experiences of shaming and abuse.

The day before the training I would have been the same. The evening after the training I was able to do something I loved, in my own way, sharing with the dancer our energies and movement and totally at ease in my own body and with my self. Being as magnificently ‘shining’ as I’m able so far.

All achieved in one day. Yes… I know! I have been working on the issue for a long time and in different ways. However, that doesn’t detract from the fact that it was resolved gently and deeply through using physical metaphors and my own physicality.

Now… me being at ease, totally authentic (like joined up writing with myself!) and able to dance publicly with a belly dancer might seem a small thing to you.

But transfer its essence into the Board Room or your work as an employee or business owner of any kind. Transfer it into your relationships with other people. Transfer it into building your team in an organisation. Transfer it into what you need to achieve in your work-life or your family-life and how you normally go about doing it.

Food for thought, eh?

Getting Clearer…

March 30, 2008

 

It’s not for no reason that women have a cycle roughly in line with that of the moon’s cycle and so tidal cycles too. In some cultures the time of their menstruation was respected and revered.

Native North American tribes-women would have particular tepees in which to sit and reflect as they bled… their wisdom could then be sought for the good of the tribe. Some sources suggest that the Oracles of Delphi where the future was told were priestesses at the time of their menstruation.

And it’s a well known phenomenon that when women live together or, sometimes, are in very close relationship with each other, their menstrual cycles synchronise. Howzat for the power of the hormones!

I write this because many women, including myself (even tho’ on HRT these days so only having mock menstruation), find that as they enter the second half of their cycle they become … not sure the words exist to define the experience! The best I can find is that they become a little ‘foggy’… that which seemed so absolutely right or just so or the thing to be done yadiyadiya seems off focus, like a blurred photograph.

And it’s only just today that I realised what a ‘good’ thing that can be!

Instead of… “Oh I know what’s happening. This usually happens in the second half of my menstrual cycle. I’ll just have to wait until it clears!”, I can now go…

“Great, I can let my unconscious work on that project and check it out” or “Great, I know now deep down I didn’t really want to do XYZ… thank you fogginess for bringing me back in line with what’s right for me!”… or “Great… now I get why I’m so interested in growing tomatoes. Thanks fogginess for showing me my way forward”…and so on, and so on.

If we respect that fogginess, let it creatively ‘be’ and sit patiently until information emerges through our thoughts, feelings and senses… we can co-operate with our own organic processes of wisdom. We can get far clearer about our purpose, passion and power than through cognitive thinking alone.

Hey, Sharon, you got that one yet!? And have you?