Posts Tagged ‘Women’

Over The Top!

December 27, 2008

Reading a book by Seth Godin on leadership… my marketeer of choice… I came to a bit where he says, ‘If you’re not over the top, you’re not going to have any chance at all of making things happen’.

Firstly, having spent a life with family and ex-husband telling me explicitly or implicitly I was ‘too much’, embarrassing them, ya-di-ya-di-ya, it’s a chocolate profiterole with cream kind of pleasure to be told ‘over the top’ is fine. (Though what constitutes over the top is not defined, leaving my imagination to run deliciously riot as to the joys that await me!)

However, that is most definitely not the only way to make things happen. You can do that by default, by not making choices and letting others make them for you. You can do that by going for less than you want or desire, ending up disappointed but, hey, you didn’t put your head above the parapet did you?!

Choice time!

With 2009 approaching, you can be doing same old same old OR you can start learning how to be over the top for you. Yes… not like me, or Amy Winehouse or Madonna! What’s just a baby stretch bit more over the top for you? And what positive things might happen because you did it?

You could learn a whole lotta stuff to do just that by coming to my Politics Can Be Sexy!, a one-day intensive training for women who desire to be shedloads more successful communicators and influencers in their organisations and careers. You’ll be surprised and deliciously delighted how easily yet powerfully you can through using the depth and creative energy of the archetypal feminine.

Full details on the website in January.   Priority advance notice of details AND a subscriber’s discount on fees for Women of Courage Ezine community members. So, with only 8 places, be an early worm… subscribe here

Wishing you a deliciously creative 2009 and remember… over the top is most definitely the place to be. Subscribe here and discover how!

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A New Spin On Fear Of Failure!

December 6, 2008

Wanted a ‘lie-in’ this morning.  Been a busy few weeks one-to-one coaching, and training some great energy managers in the NHS.

And the thought of just waking up this morning whatever time my body wanted felt superb last night.  That is, until my eyes popped open at 6.25 am and my mind began jiving its own particular version of rock around the clock!

So I got up with the intention of having breakfast, reading a little with my coffee and then going back for a snooze… which often works for me.  Not this morning.  Too enthused by thoughts I read in a book by Seth Godin which I’ll feature soon.  Here’s a couple that got my imagination going…

It’s not fear of failure that inhibits us from being/doing remarkable things but the fear of destructive criticism.  It’s the fear of that pointing finger of blame, of ridicule and humiliation.

If you’re not uncomfortable in your work as a leader then you’re probably not reaching your potential as a leader.

So… how about you; what memories, ideas, pictures and musings do these thoughts stimulate in you?

What Kind Of Leader Are You?

November 30, 2008

The whole topic of leadership’s been pre-occupying me for some time now… leadership of self and others. And there’s as many definitions of leadership as there are people to write them.

One of my favourites is from Alan Keith, a former corporate finance director at the pharmaceutical firm, Genentech, who said “Leadership is ultimately about creating a way for people to contribute to making something extraordinary happen.”

And how do you do that? In an article to be published in the winter edition of Rapport Magazine (www.anlp.org) I suggest leaders need to have more ‘joined-up being’ to include their heart centred and soul-full aspects as well as traditionally thought of feminine approaches and qualities as well as masculine ones.

A tall order? I don’t think so!

Enabling people to contribute, enabling people to make something extra-ordinary happen demands that leaders grow themselves. It demands they be inspiring and motivating role models for humanity in the 21st century.

And each one of us is a leader however small our circle of influence. So what’s it going to be? What are you going to do to become such a leader? How are you going to do that? When are you going to do that? And where?

No excuses!

And if you think I’m being unreasonable in my demands on you… surely, not little ole me?… I’m delighted. I’m totally fed up being ‘reasonable’ by tolerating less in myself and so in others. I know what I’m doing about becoming the kind of leader I want to be led by…

WHAT ABOUT YOU?!

Nothing Succeeds Like The Appearance of Success

November 16, 2008

(Christopher Lasch)

A while ago I was training a great bunch of managers on Module 1 of my ‘Effective Communication & Influencing’ course. They were engaged, lively and challenging. Just the kind of delegates I put out for and get!

That’s something to do with the way I like to be trained myself and, of course, my marketing material. I consciously create it to attract that kind of delegate and deter those who think training is ‘time off’.

Anyhow, we were exploring my 6 Essential Principles for Effective Communication and had reached keeping your spine straight. As a teaching point, I asked them what communications they might get from a trainer who… and then I moved from my normally alert, well grounded, balanced and straight spine position to slouch and loll in my chair.

“Oh…,” cried out one manager, “you mean the kind of trainer we normally get!”

Well, we all fell about laughing for a bit. I know that kind of trainer too.

Then we unpacked the communications, intended or not, this group of managers receive from slouching-lolling trainers or colleague managers or team members or staff members or line managers or, heaven forbid, CEOs.

Not unsurprisingly their received communications were not inspiring and motivating nor did they engender impressions of trustfulness, integrity, presence, leadership or knowing one’s onions! Quite the reverse.

It could be argued we take too much notice of how a person appears rather than who and what they really are. There’s definitely a case for that and…

GET REAL!

What we put out there is the reality we create.

So… how do you turn up in your professional or business life? If less than a ‘successful’ appearance, what on earth’s that about and what do you need to do to turn it around, assuming you want to?! And, if you already turn up excellently, what could you do even better to maximise your success factors?

© Sharon Eden 2008 All Rights Reserved

 

Alive!

November 2, 2008

9.40 pm, peering out of a totally black window flashed with lightenings and whizzy bangs of belated Halloween or Divali rompings on a cold October London night. Their flashes reminiscent of World War news reel bombs cascading in the blitz… sudden and piercingly sharp.

Explosions setting light to houses, sheds, unrepentant trees, urban foxes and the gnarled-ness of fences. For just a fraction of a second – only to surrender them to the darkness like a forbidden moment.

And here I am reflected in my mirror window, the orb of my halogen desk lamp a surrogate sun competing with sudden bright cracks. Yet more rockets exploding silencing normal night noises.

How bizarre that a moment ago I was lost in the warm earthiness of Kenya. Enveloped in my writing buddy’s flowing blogs of life 3 days-in.  Making, re-making contacts and projects on her micro-finance journey.

Touched by the courageous women woven in Phyllis’s tapestry. Touched by the sights, smells and sounds of her-their lives in their richness and poverty. Way, way across the world come alive through her body, her feelings, her thoughts and her sensitivity’s eyes.

Feeling totally unashamedly vital, sensuously keen and ribboning. Presence-ing myself in the velvet mirror blackboard, here and there, the creative chaotic impulse within and outside.

 

Leave Your Heart At Home

September 1, 2008

This is a crazy world! Sometimes working with women I get told they’re told there’s no place for emotions aka ‘feelings’ at work.

Correction! It’s OK for some people to get frustrated at work, angry at work… even to take out their frustrations on other people at work. And, in some circumstances, but not all, it’s OK to crack a joke at work or ‘yer ‘avin’ a larrf’ as a friend of mine would say.

It’s NOT OK to bring empathy, compassion, tenderness or gentleness to work. Oh no! Not in the cut and thrust of global empires, the distorted use of politics and mental machinations.

Yet it’s those very ‘heart-felt’ emotions that we need in the aridness of the organisational world today. People need to count. People need to be valued. People need to be appreciated. People need to be considered. Then they’ll give of their very best because they’ve been treated as they deserve… the very best.

So… how can you bring some heart-felt emotion into your world of work today???

 

Every time I close the door on reality, it comes in through the windows

July 8, 2008

Jennifer Yane’s quotation reminded me that when the Universe has got a lesson to teach you it comes knocking on your door and, if you ignore it, the Universe comes back a while later and knocks even harder. If you still ignore it, the Universe comes back later and this time knocks and kicks at your door. And, if you still ignore the Universe and the lesson it has to teach you, it’ll come back even later. Only this time it’ll kick your ****** door down.

How sensible then to have open windows!

Because the lesson we need to learn often comes through reality flying in through them and hitting us right in the face. Not that we didn’t previously know about it at some level. We just didn’t let it be conscious, be real.

The relationship that you suddenly recognise is damaging, the job that’s draining your soul, the piece you recognise about yourself and your behaviour, the chaos that you’re creating through lack of care, the fear that’s holding you back from recognition or indeed how blessed you are with what you have in your life. A myriad of realities throughout our lives ready to help us stretch ourselves and grow.

A myriad which we often keep the door closed and shut on just in case we have to do something. Oh no! Not the ‘action’ thing? Yes, that action thing. That thing called being response-able, able to respond to and act upon what’s calling us to change.

Often such times evoke our greatest fears about lack of security, losing love, rejection and the possibility of abandonment. But, hey, when your re-action (hyphenated on purpose) is the strongest, it’s a clue as to how much of your potential that lesson, that bit of reality, is offering you as its prize.

In recent times, reality flew in my windows at gale wind speed… never one to do things by halves… and it was about being called to shed some old and redundant beliefs and behaviours that I’d covered up with bravado. To get more real in its truest sense!

To be more authentically me and more vulnerable… and paradoxically more safe only it didn’t feel like it at the time… through shedding some brittleness and some shoutiness that had attempted to defend me against hurt. Not that it had worked particularly well… does it ever?!

Well I kicked and screamed and fought to begin with. And although I’m through that bit now I’m still a work in process. Shedding the old, not quite sure what the new is like and making it up as I go along with a bit of inner and bigger guidance. And I’m still here; no loss of security or love, no rejection or abandonment. At least, if I have been rejected or abandoned, I certainly don’t feel it.

So… what’s the reality that came in through your windows? What lessons did it teach you? And how did you change and grow out of it?

Do let me know and take the possibility of helping others face their realities through your named experience being featured in my upcoming book. Comment as gloriously as you wish below….

Love to you…

© Sharon Eden 2008 All Rights Reserved